December 14
Wow! You buys are amazing. I just received your letters last night and once I realized what they were, I felt like I held a treasure box in my hands. It is so easy to feel separated and like I'm just writing blindly. It's encouraging to know my blogs are somewhat of an inspiration when many times, here, I feel useless. Just a couple days ago we had a little kid come in with malaria, but the parents refused to pay for hospitalizing him. They took him to the traditional "healers" instead who made cuts all over his stomach and other rituals with promises to cure him. Today they returned, with the boy convulsing. I've spent all day pleading with them to buy meds. for him, and each time they finally do buy one dose, they act as if I'm cheating them out of their money. They don't believe that there is any other reason for me to be here except to make money off of them. Late this afternoon, the boy died, proving to them, that they paid for nothing. And I feel like I failed again.
I must say that any inspiration you get from my experiences are not from me, but are glimpses of God working in my life & in Tchad. Many times I feel weak, discouraged, and not trusting of Him, but He works through the least of us. Don't think (like I used to), that you have to reach a certain level spiritually with God to be used by Him in great ways. Just be willing to relinquish control of your life and say, "God, use me."
Nothing will be the same...imagine if you are tapping into the strength, love, & character of God, where is the limit??!
Then as He uses you, despite your limitations & shortcomings, to touch other people's lives & fulfill His purpose, the most incredible part happens ~ While working through you, He works in you.
Hmm...hope I'm not getting too carried away :) When I write, it kind of sorts out all my own thoughts. Well, I hope you all have a great Christmas and keep up with the Espanol! I was thinking I should write part of this in Spanish for you guys, but every time I tried to think of something, only French came up in my mind. Aah!! It's taking over. You all need to write me some Spanish quick!
Thank you again! I have your letters hanging up all over my hut walls.
Aah Sarah, you make me cry. I'm glad the letters reached you and I'm even more happy to see you grow so much with God. You're absolutely right - He is amazing and uses us and loves us, just the way we are!
ReplyDeleteIt's freezing cold here yesterday and today and this morning the freezing fog was really hanging around. Birds are migrating through and it's really pretty here! We miss and love you! cbovee